1. A Bride’s Wedding Day
A lot of women spend their whole lives dreaming about their perfect wedding day. Making sure that everything’s going to be totally perfect and wonderful. Then when that day finally approaches, they pray that nothing goes wrong. But what if that dream turns into a nightmare? Do we make an internet list about it? You bet your bottom dollar that we do.
2. Don’t Worry, It Wasn’t THIS Bad
There’s wedding fails, like this GIF. THEN there’s wedding fails like the story I am about to tell you. Both are different, but they have one thing in common: me whispering “Ohhhh noooooo” to myself while the drama unfolds.
3. Meet Christine Miller
What a beautiful bride, am I right? She looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world. Like her perfect wedding day went off without a hitch. Well, don’t let looks fool you! Because this was Christine EARLIER in the day…
4. Wait, What Happened Here?
Some brides want to go for the “princess” or the “mermaid” look, but Christine is clearly pulling off the “violent allergic reaction” look. So what happened here? Well, it started off very sweet.
5. She Just Wanted Some White Flowers!
The 23-year old bride wanted a hands-on wedding planning experience. She even wanted to make her own floral arrangements. It’s was a nice thought, right? Key word here being “was.”
6. And She Knew Just The Type
The young bride happens to own a 29-acre property in Lincoln, Nebraska with beautiful, naturally growing white flowers. The day before, she picked the flowers to use on her special day. The big lesson to take away here is to just stay away from nature. What’s nature ever done for me?
7. The Morning Of
It turns out, besides being very pretty, the flowers that grow on her property had a bite to them. Yep, they’re poisonous, which obviously Miller wasn’t aware of. She woke up the next morning, washed her face with her hands…which still had sap residue on them from the night before. What’s a girl supposed to do? Wash her hands before…washing her face?
8. The Culprit
Here’s the real flower, Snow-on-the-Mountain. Christine and her bridal party picked so many flowers that they were able to fill up a pick-up truck. At least no one probably fought over who got to catch the bouquet?
9. The Show Must Go On
She hopped over to an emergency clinic before the ceremony but it was (GASP) closed! So she put on her dress, got her makeup done…and walked down the aisle anyway. She told HuffPo, “I literally couldn’t see my husband when I was saying my vows because my vision went blurry. So blurry I passed out twice at my reception.” I have a similar reaction when I THINK about marriage.
10. That’s Not All
Bad things just kept on happening. The couple also forgot their rings, their song didn’t play, and her veil fell off twice. Geez, Murphy’s Law much? But hey, they have some really cute wedding photos.
11. After The Ceremony
The ceremony ended and Christine went to the emergency room. Nothing says “Mazel tov” like an injection in the butt. I’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof, I know what’s up.
With the right group of gals, the perfect man at the end of the aisle, and the family that goes above and beyond for you– forgetting the rings, forgetting the unity rope, getting 1 hr of sleep before the wedding, forgetting wedding shoes, having your veil fall off twice during the ceremony, getting an allergic reaction at your wedding, taking a trip to the ER for a shot in the butt between ceremony and reception and getting ready to walk into your reception in Jammie's 3 hrs late doesn't seem so bad. My HUSBAND got an early peep show so that's was good enough for him and I have some of the best ladies holding the fort down til I get there with my party pants on….. this will definitely be a story to tell 😳 #millermade2017 #wedding
12. For Better Or For Worse
Luckily, her new hubby was more than supportive. Good for him, getting that “in sickness and in health” part out of the way quickly. It’s only smooth sailing from here on out! Yep, definitely.
13. A Late Reception
The newlyweds wound up being over 3 hours late to their reception. Hopefully there was still some cake left over? Why are we doing anything if not for the cake?
14. Lemons Into Lemonade
While her wedding didn’t go the way she hoped, at least she’s finding humor in the whole thing. And in her newfound fame! What girl doesn’t dream of having a front-page photo of them dripping with mucus? Just me? Is this why I’m still single?
I've been the front page of the paper 3 times. Once at 4 years old mutton busting at the rodeo. Another time at 17 years old caught the greased pig at the Fair. 3rd time? At 23, My wedding day was so disastrous even @owhphotos had something to Write about. As you can see I'm really thriving and fulfilling those dreams I have 😳😳😳 #weddingday #lazyday
15. Congrats, You Two!
Here’s hoping that Christine and her new husband, Jonathan’s honeymoon was a lot less dramatic. Let the couple be young and in love, universe! Save the bad luck for people like me, single and writing listicles about beautiful young people.
Don’t worry, I’M FINE.