1. He Came In Like A Wrecking Ball
The decorations on this list are … unconventional, to say the least. Some are pretty inventive, while others are completely apathetic. Some are examples of people completely dropping the ball, or should I say bell?
This guy is a stealth genius, he made a bunch of little cutouts of Miley and secretly added them to his other people’s ornaments.
2. Don’t Jump Yet
Well, people say that suicide rates skyrocket during the holidays. I get it, the weather is cold (depending), and the impending new year only gives you another opportunity to disappoint your family, friends and most importantly, yourself. But, at least hold off until springtime. Spring is actually the peak suicide season, contrary to popular belief.
3. Sign Me A Story
Oh, that sneaky bastard. Well, this sign has several meanings. Either way if you look at it, you get a punch in the arm. But, maybe the neighbor in this house is deaf and they really hate their neighbor. That’s because that means “a**hole” in sign language.
4. Santa, No!
This is supposed to imply, please stop at this house right? Because it really seems like Santa and his creepy henchman snowman should be locked up. Even the expression on the snowman’s face is horrendously creepy.
5. Lazy AF
This person embodies me during the holidays. I mean, what isn’t “meh” about the holidays. It’s freezing, everyone is stressed and grumpy, you get fat and have to explain to your mom why you’re still single. There’s nothing great about it.
6. Rough Christmas
This is my kind of nativity scene.This is actually more like what my bedroom floor looks like on Monday morning. Except, I also have three not-so-wise mean on my bedroom floor, too.
7. So Demanding
I mean, I know some guys really have a thing for boobs, but you don’t have to be so bossy about it. Nobody likes a tit Nazi. Well, nobody likes any kind of Nazi. But, tit Nazis are pretty unbearable, too.
8. So Wrong
Wow, this is a real crime … $69.95 for that ugly decoration? I wouldn’t pay more than $30 for it. No, obviously I see what’s wrong here … pure evil capitalism at work, driving up the price of ornaments for those last-minute shoppers.
Okay, obviously these were taken off the shelf because … the hem is all wrong on the right side.
9. Green With Envy
Well, what do you expect? The French have filthy minds. Not one, but two giant phalluses in this photo. I honestly thought the prodigious green butt plug was a plug (pun intended) for the opening of the new sex shop down the street.
10. Cocky Decorator
“Deck the street with winged phalluses, fa la la la la ….” Come on, the person who was in charge of decorating the neighborhood this year should have their town hall privileges revoked. Steve, I’m assuming it was a Steve, you always were an odd duck.
11. Kill Two Skeletons With One Stone
I admire this decoration for it’s minimal effort. The next day after Halloween just pop a Santa’s hat on this guy and you’re good to go. Though, I wish someone would do a Nightmare Before Christmas-themed house for Christmas.
12. Santa’s Pit Stop
Well, if Santa has to deliver gifts to all the children in the world, he probably needs a lot of coffee to stay energized. And coffee makes you have too pee badly. He’s bound to take a leak sometime, right?
13. Santa Will Eat Your Soul
Do you know what happens to all the naughty children on Santa’s list? Their souls get sucked into Santa’s beard where they must suffer for eternity, mining out cookie crumbs. Were you good this year?
14. Show Off
Okay, this has to be broken up into three pieces. What a show off! I mean, I heard the bigger the tree the smaller the candy cane. Sorry, you get low-blows for trying to show up the rest of the neighborhood.
15. Creepy Santa
This is another great example of refurbishing Halloween decorations. But, honestly, he looks much more terrifying in the Santa’s suit. It looks like Santa is looking to fill his gift bag with human body parts.